Month 3 Day19

I quit. Nobody cares about my weight loss or lack of. I got a new job and I just don't have the time to blog or work out so I quit. Sorry guys. Its month three and I should be down like 30 pounds and I'm only down 3. Its not that I don't think its possible. It would be possible by a more determined person but I've lost my incentive and with the new job I'm gone 12 hours a day. I just haven't figured out how I can make any of this work right now. And I won't be needing that swim suit after all this summer. I don't have a pool. I hate lakes and I'm not going to the islands like I planned...now that I have this new job. ya! :-(

So I quit. Sorry to let you down followers(aka mom).  LOL. :-)

Peace People!

...BUT! If by some miraculous turn of events I learn balance in my life, fit in working out and actually lose any weight later on this year...I'll be sure to post it...promise. :-)

Gave up before day 90...like 99% of all new year's resolution makers...sad!

Month 3 - Day 3

I started a new job this week. I have different hours now. I'm in training this week and start my real schedule next week. I work until 9 at night so if I can just figure out how not to eat anything when I come home at night...I'll be good. Not eating late has worked for me in the past. I worked out yesterday and am about to work out now. I did 45minutes/2 miles on the treadmill. Yes, it was slow but its a start. And I'll do it again today. And I'll try to stick with this. I did have two beers last night, I was a little stressed but I was 247 yesterday, 245 after I worked out and 247 this morning. I had a short lunch at 5:30 yesterday, but I think I ate way too much then with the beer that didn't help. But anyway, I'm trying...again. Don't give up on me. I could really use the support. My husband wants to help me but it always feel like he's trying to put me thru boot camp. That's not my way. I'm way too much of a control freak to hand over control of my life, body or workout for that matter to someone else. Anyway, stay tuned.

Day One - Third Month

Alright people. I fucked up. I was down to 241 and now I'm back up to 247. My weight loss efforts are being hampered...by me. I am a self sabotage. Why else would I eat lemon cheesecake after getting down nine pounds. I shared it with my family but so what. I shouldn't have had it. And not one ...but two. There may be no help for me.

Today I start a new job. New hours, new duties. Looking forward to it...but I'm not sure how this new position will effect my weight loss attempts. Its not like I been doing that well to begin with. So...we'll see. I'll keep you up to date.

Day 52 - Woo Hoo!!!

So... I got drunk last night...went out and had a good old time. I've been so depressed. I was convinced that I would never see any significant weight loss past the same five pounds  that I go up and down. I drank and danced the night away. I woke up this morning...and I was 241 Pounds! Seriously! Ok. I didn't eat much yesterday, I know that, but dang. I danced a little, enough that my knees hurt (I'm getting too old for this shit). But I'm officially down nine pounds! Yes! Ok, so the logic in me says "hey, your dumb ass is just dehydrated! You lost water weight! It don't count!". But you know what I don't care. Its just what I needed to see when I needed to see it. I can do this. Ok granted I'm 11 pounds behind in from where I should be at the end of month two but if I can just keep going.

Last week I was all so motivated. I bought a new ball to do my sit ups on and a new work out tape by the guys on the Biggest Loser. I did the new work out tape. I did an old work out tape for the ball and the next day I hurt so bad! Why? Why does it have to hurt so bad? I was so messed up I couldn't work out for a couple days and then I didn't want to work out because it hurt so bad. Today I'm hung over but tomorrow is a new day...again. LOL. I really want to do this

All I had yesterday was a fish filet sandwich and I went to the park with the kids, pushed them on the swing, ran around the track and danced all night (and drank) until one in the morning. Is that the recipe to weight loss?

Midway in to Month Two

Ok...So...I'm not doing so good. I must appear to be taking this thing as a joke. I'm not. Although the tears, despair and frustration or commitment may not be getting properly expressed in my blog, I am really going  thru it.

This week I did nothing to follow thru on my commitment to weight loss. I admit that. I've been wrapped up in making a great birthday for my little girl and I was successful. She had a great weekend. And I...am back up to 249 pounds. One pound shy of my starting weight. I realize how bad this looks. I only had one piece of cake, but I had full calorie soda, I ate too much food, and even though I exercised once this week. It was not enough.

At this point I'm supposed to be 15 pounds lighter to be on schedule. I'm only 1 pound lighter. So I'm rededicating myself to this endeavor. I'm going to do more and do better. The new plan is not to take it so light. I was losing pounds just by not eating or just by not eating a lot of fattening things, and occasionally working out. I have to drink much more water and do much more work outs. I can't just take the week off because my "aunt flow" is in town. I gotta keep chugging. I can do this! I will! I will. I will.

I'm gonna buy a new ball for the sit ups, buy another workout tape, do P90x.  I can do this. I will. You are gonna be so proud of me. So proud.