My Blog Inspiration

Inspiration can come from anywhere for anything. But its not enough. I watch So You Think You Can Dance all the time and I'm inspired to dance. I want to move, I want to Cha Cha! But I don't. I don't know what I'm doing. But like a million other people on the planet, I was inspired to start a blog by a person... and a movie.

So the person that inspired my reason for blogging was my mother. I love her to death but she's been critical of  my weight, and eating habits my whole life. She's finally given up bickering with me about it since it gets her nowhere. She  only sees me once every five years or so anyway. She's realized its just not worth the headache. We'll delve more in to my semi -twisted, mother -daughter relationship later, but she's the reason. This summer I'm going to go visit her and we're planning on taking the kids to the beach for the first time and its going to be amazing. I don't want the whole moment to be overshadowed by her awe and disgust at how fat I've gotten. I don't want to take away from the kids experience because I feel so overly self conscious. And I don't want to have to wear men's swimming trunks over my swimsuit. Not cute. So, everyone benefits.

Now a month or two ago I watched the movie, Julie and Julia. I just loved it. I love movies in general but I really really liked this one. It, what do they call it, "struck a chord" with me. I related to the character of Julie, deeply.

And if you haven't seen it, it's the cutest movie about this twenty something woman, working a job, its just a job, no real purpose in her life. She's married. She quits everything, doesn't follow through, but loves to cook. She then takes on this one year project of making all 500 and some odd recipes in Julia Childs cook book and blogs about it. She was a writer in her heart, and a pretty good cook too, from the looks of it and it just tells about what she goes through and shares some details about Julia Childs too.

But I was really taken with the character of Julie and the idea of blogging. The idea of putting your thoughts and ideas out in to the universe where people all over the planet can hear you, relate to you, understand you, feel your vibe. I love that idea. I don't know how people will find me. Thats a little bit of technological magic, but it's amazing. I decided then, I want to do that.

And as for Julie, she's me. I'm a writer in my heart, and I can cook but thats part of the problem. I love everything I cook a little too much. I found this amazingly simple recipe online, over the holidays, for a dessert with sweetened milk, graham crackersand butter, and chocolate chips. It was amazing, quick and easy, I'm sure it put a 1000 calories in my mouth with each bite, but boy was it good.

So I was inspired to blog. And boy, do I have a reason to blog. Of course this year, like every year, I made the resolution to really try to lose weight this time. But I need a sense of accountability. I joined Weight Watchers At Work but that's not working because I just keep skipping the meetings. I do feel a sense of urgency now though. I'm almost 40. It just keeps getting harder from here. It's taken 20 years to put on this 100 pounds and soon its gonna be damn near impossible. Plus the weight is really starting to be an issue. I can't stand for long, in a line or at the store. I'm tired after washing the dishes. Now you know that's ridiculous! And I have to say the sexual flexibility is slipping away, not to mention the stamina and little bit of the drive. I can't have that! So I'm on it. I'm determined and having the accountability to my blog feels like enough of a push but the dread of putting on a swimsuit this summer is an even bigger push. Hence the first deadline of 50 pounds by June 30th. Wish me luck! Stay it out with me, or join me! Let's talk.



Starting Weight: 250 pounds

Weight: 249 pounds

Workout: None...what? I was busy!

Food:
So. It's day 4 of my Lovely "so called" weight loss "diet". It's already gone to crap! I suck. Well, not really me. My life sucks. My nutritional intake for the day was peanut butter crackers, a chicken pattie sandwich, french fries (with ketchup and ranch)...and five beers. I know! I know!  I didn't even try. It was horrible. I've got these beers left over in my fridge from new year's eve and they were just calling me. Beer is one of my many weaknesses. I should have just thrown them away to get rid of them but I hate to waste. Is that awful? Am I ridiculous? ...well I have four left and no intention of tossing them. But as soon as they are gone, NO MORE! Promise...(to try...really really hard). :-)